So instead of a rant, behold. It's been one of those (all-too-rare) moments in SL when things came together. Take the revelation of sculpted fire prims, an insanely talented scripter (thanks, Geek), and lots and lots of fiddling with textures, and I finally made fireplaces with lovely flames. And crackling. And you can turn them off. And they're pretty.
Two models so far - a modern-ish one wid da logs, and a Victorian-ish one wid da fire irons (the things that the logs rest on). More to follow. Not expensive. Copiable. Modifiable.
Hell, I'm pleased with them. I'd even give 'em away if I didn't have to pay That Thing Called Tier because I'm so pleased with them (and, of course, so modest).
Oh, and the tools. Pretty fire tools.
You're all going to rush to buy one, right?
(A girl can dream)
But if you wish to join the stampede, go here, and pick up a superb Iranian rug for 1L while you're at it.